Words You Can Yawn To

LOUD NOISES

2006-12-18T01:41:59Z

Four more days to graduation! Then it's, wait, let's count: one... two... 12 whole work free days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then five months of consecutive 12-14 hour days.

But still, 12 DAYS! It's like i'm in High School again. And in this case, it's a good thing. I have some work left to do tonight that i'm putting off, that too is like High School. I feel bad for Carly, because one of her good firends whom she hasn't seen in a while is in town, and we won't be there till next week when he's gone. I guess i'll have to buy her something pretty to make her feel better.

I got a call from the Coast Guard (CG) Friday. They told me they didn't want me. After dealing with Runion, they said they couldn't handle any more I.S. drama (kidding Brian). No, it turns out that the CG only accepts academy folks or people with a degree already, no ROTC. So much for my great escape plan.

I have my brother Dave's present sitting in my living room. I really want to play with it, but Carly keeps reminding me that it's not mine, and if I was a good brother, i'd leave it alone. She's like jimminy cricket hopped up on caffiene.

I need to take care of some other business, but if I have any loyal readers, even one, have a happy Christmas - JK

Mein Bruder

2006-12-10T19:05:07Z

Heard from Dave last night, he passed his Special Forces selection. It seems like only yesterday that Dave and I were bare-knuckle boxing without shirts and our socks pulled up to our knees. I bet if I did that now, I would die a very quick death.

I'm pretty excited about work. This school I'm going to has allowed me to meet a lot of folks from around the base. One of them is going to give me an in-depth tour of the jets. It's a little sad being in the Air Force. The Navy and Coast guard almost universaly get to be on ships (boats Brain, boats), even the Marines. The Army get to play with big guns or helicopters or humvees. The Air Force though, we only let a small percentage even be in the same room as a jet, shoot, even a C-130 (aka: big slow plane). So I'm a little excited.

Found out the date for my deployment. Carly and I are going home for X-Mas, and that's going to be the last time I visit until summer at the earliest. Also found out that most of the airborne stuff I was hoping to do is being passed over to actual airborne operators. At least I will still be able to do my job over there rather than some admin crap.

I've got some homework piling up, better hit that - JK

My Toe is Going Down!

2006-12-06T04:46:13Z

First off, my right-side big toe is killing me. I haven't ever had an in grown toe nail before, so of course, I had no idea how to treat it. It's progressively gotten worse. My sister and I devised a plan consisting of sweet, sweet alcohol, a sharp pair of nail sicsors and me manning up. Hopefully it'll be a success.

I've been practicing for having a kid by procrastinating for the class I'm taking right now. Then, when i'd usually go to sleep, I start on my work. See, I can still get the college experience while being in the military. The lack off sleep is the whole practicing for a kid thing.

If I do decide I want a kid though (I suppose it's somewhat Carly's decision as well), I need to begin deciding if a military career is the path for me. It's like the end of the game LIFE. Do I straight up go for the poor farm, or should I try for the big white mansion (Poor farm = military). Decisons, decisions.

The thing is, I'm incredibly successful at being in the military, and if I commit fully to it, which I haven't at this point, i'll be even more successful. My biggest gripe is that I have so much more potential. I'm not mentally challenged at work. Right now, the military is the safest financial career for me. Going through 3-5 years of college, trying to scrape by, I'm not sure if that's what I really want for Carly and myself. WHY ISN'T LIFE EASY?

Well, I'm going to go hit the hard stuff and then play operation on my foot. Wish me luck - JK

Damn

2006-09-14T23:27:14Z

Today I was the victim of a hit and run accident. My Pontiac (thankfully not the new car) was hit in a parking lot while I was at work. It's going to cost me at least $500 to fix it. Shit - JK

Time to blow the froth off a couple of cold ones.

2006-09-02T02:58:23Z

I have nothing to say. However, to be a good sport, and to bludgeon time, I will make an attempt to enlighten my audience.

Now that i've settled into my new job, I constantly find myself drinking alone. I like to think that if Carly wasn't at work, she'd be drinking with me, but I think that may be my mind doing one hell of a job negotiating with my conscience. One of my coworkers gave birth to a child last week. I am forever grateful that she did not go into labor at work. That scares me, more so than deploying. What do I know about child birth? This stuff isn't briefed during Self Aid Buddy Care. I actually had nightmares, well, daymares when i'd drift off at work, about freaking out when she'd go into labor. But she didn't, so, moving on.

Carly got her new couch. I braved the vast unknown between Mt. Home, Idaho and Bellevue, Washington to bring it safely to our doorstep. It really is comfortable, though with the price she paid for it, there must be some sort of story behind it. There's probably some newsclipping taped to the bottom, '90 YEAR OLD WOMAN DIES IN COUCH, DOGS KNAW AT LIMBS'.

Today I had some crusty old fellow with quite a rural twang to his voice cut my hair. Then, when he's done, he said, 'You should put gel in your hair cause it looks funny like this.' Another chapter in my book, I hate getting my hair cut.

I got my eyes dilated last week to see if I could get corrective surgery. Unlike a normal dilation, to do a thorough check, the doctor had to give me a strong dosage of the medicine. Therefore, my eyes weere dilated for two days. It was the craziest thing, must be what being high is like, except for the euphoria, trust me, my job still sucked. Bright lights were just incredibly intense. Plus, Carly freaked out whenever she looked at my eyes.

I'm going to cut this short, because little of this is actually interesting. I feel like an old man, just ramblin' on about nothing. Later all - JK

Guess what I found out today?

2006-08-10T00:11:41Z

I was selected for promotion to Staff Sergeant. Thanks to the Air Force's promotion system, I will actually put it on sometime in the spring. Still, a pretty good day all in all. I found out my grandma thought I was a much cuter baby than my siblings. And my wife said she still loves me (it must be the promise of extra money coming in talking).

-JK

......................................

2006-05-07T00:43:14Z

I hate getting my haircut. Let me just put that out there for starters. I've never liked it. I don't know why, but it makes me uneasy and uncomfortable. I never talk, I sit there pale and sickly looking. I sweat profusely and my lips chap.

Being in the military, I unfortunately have to get my hair cut all the damn time. I tried cutting it myself in the desert, and let's just say it wasn't up to par.

So today I got my hair cut. I sat at the chair staring at a wall, zoning out, trying to think about something else. Once it was done, I held up the mirror to see how it'd gone and to my complete shock and dismay, it looked like crap. It was too short and totally not what I asked for. And this barber spoke English. So in my usual non-confrontational manner, I tipped her a dollar and fumed in my car on the way home. Just another reason I hate haircuts.

Today I also drove to Bruneau Dunes State Park. It was pretty cool, a couple of big ole sand dunes you can sled down. Plus a little swimming hole and some trails. I think I will have to take Carly there.

I have to crack the books next week, just over a week until I test for Sergeant. I'd forgotten how much I hate studying. I still have three years of college left at a minimum too. GROAN.

- JK

Waitin' Waitin' Waitin' for my wife to come home

2006-04-18T05:09:25Z

Well I'm officially bored. Just waiting for Carly to come home. I know I'm up too late (sad) for I must be at volleyball before work tomorrow, and then after. Lame you say? Well listen up, the Air Force takes it's sissy sports seriously.

Had a good Easter. Went to Sgt Schetzle's and participated in the most elaborate egg hunt I've ever seen. It was like those old fox hunts from England. Running through the wilderness, dogs barking, kids crying, Carly moping because she was wet (from the Easter snow).

I'd forgotten what the spring was like here. Thursday it was 75 and sunny, Sunday it was 34 and snowing.

We also played this horse-shoe influenced game. The difference was you toss large metal washers instead of horse shoes. Let me be the first to tell you, getting whacked in the knee with large metal washers is equal to or greater than the pain from getting whacked in the knee with horseshoes.

I think I am going to go rest my eyes while I wait for my beloved wife figure - JK

Blah buh Blah Blahbidee Doo

2006-03-08T18:44:55Z

Man, I'm tired. I had an exhausting exercise for work the last few weeks. I have absolutely now qualms about bitching about being tired either, even if my brother is going through Ranger School right now. Poor guy lost like, 20lbs his first few weeks there.

So since my last update I went skiing for the first time. It was freaking awesome. I'm going again on Sunday and maybe Monday. Too bad Carly is so much better than me. Maybe I'll go TDY to the Swiss Alps and train in secret all year, then challenge her to a ski-down for family suprememcy. Nah, she probably wouldn't go for that.

My couch reeks of dog piss. I can't freaking stand it, I want to burn the couch and watch all of the evil dog piss spirits fly out of it. On a positive note, my dog did get adopted out of the Humane Society. Unfortunately, for some reason, although I went into great detail denying the fact, they claimed Duke was house-trained. So, to Duke's new owners, whoever you may be, SURPRISE!!!

According to the Colbert Report, Idaho State lawmakers are trying to remove the phrase famous potatoes from the license plates. Should this law pass, look for my license plate on EBay in about 15 years. The show had a good point, what else are people going to associate with Idaho now? It's going to be white supremecy, and between potatoes and neo-nazis, you'd think they'd stick with potatoes.

I watched Walk the Line. It really was like Ray with white people. I feel bad, because the acting was amazing, especially by the leads. Unfortunately, like I said, it was almost and exact remake of Ray. Except for the whole blindness deal. And Johnny Cash wasn't addicted to Heroin. Minor details though...

New Sopranos episode on Sunday. There is supposed to be a big shocker at the end. Look for me to freak out.

Lastly, I recently read Misery, and i've decided that I never, ever, under any circumstances want to become famous (at least more so than I already am). Should I though, I refuse to drive through any sparsley populated locals between the months of October thru April. Not. Going. To. Happen.

- JK

Once in a lifetime

2006-01-23T03:39:42Z

Holy crap, I am creaming my pants.

GO 'HAWKS!

- JK

A Seattle Sports Fan Reflects:

2005-12-28T02:57:40Z

I remember when I first really started to care about the Seattle Seahawks. I was in the fourth grade. I went to an elementary school in Seattle called Sacajawea, and after school, i'd hang out at the Boys and Girls Club. Well, at some point during the year I got the chance to go to a 'Steak & Burger' dinner sponsored by the Seahawks. It was a defining moment of my childhood.

We rode their on Grayline buses, kids from all over Washington, carted to the Seahawks facility in Kirkland I believe. And the whole team was there. I was awe struck the whole night. I mean, these were professional NFL players, hanging out withg a bunch of kids. We got to go around and meet the players, get autographs, etc.

I remember that the Sea Gals were there as well. You want to talk about defining moments... That was the day I discovered that cheerleaders were made by God to be oggled, and my young, perverted mind vowed then and there to never give a shit about cooties again. You could say I became a man that day, and I would have to disagree with you. Later that year I got in a fight and pinched a guy. However, the foundation was set for me to mature into the testosterone driven man that I am today.

Anyway, the night was awesome. I met Cortez Kennedy, Eugene Robinson, freaking everyone... Then, as the night was dwinding down, I was off at the end of the room looking at all of my autographs, and this long haired badass walks into the room. I turn around and am standing face to knees with Rick freaking Mirer. You have to remember, he was not so long ago the number 2 pick in the NFL draft, and not much else was going on in Seattle, so he was still to be revered. Plus I grew up in Seattle, so as far as I knew, losing was supposed to happen.

So there he is, standing in front of me in uniform, a towel draped over his shoulder looking pissed off for having to be there, the surly sports hero. I got his autograph, he didn't say a word, and then I was surrounded by dozens of other folks wanting his autograph. It was kind of like a dramatic Pepsi or Coke commercial, except that Rick Mirer is a talentless jerk who for years held the Seahawks back. To my nine year old mind though, it was one of the greatest moments in my life.

From that moment on, I pledged to be faithful to the Seahawks. They had taken the time to shock and awe me with a night of scantly clad cheerleaders, excellent meat products, free gifts, and autographs of the entire team. I would cheer for them when they lost, when they won, when Vinny Testeverde scored an imaginary touchdown that left the Seahawks out of the playoffs again. I would never cheat on them. I would hate the Raiders and the Chiefs, even when they moved to the NFC. Even though I never remember Steve Largent playing, I would die to protect his legacy as the greatest white reciever ever.

And so I endured years and years of mediocrity. They never sucked enough to draft great players, they were never great enough to win in the playoffs. Years of 7-9, 8-8, and 6-10 were to be the norm. We finally thought we would jump up a notch when Holmgrem came. That first year he made us believe in a team that opened 8-2 with Jon Kitna as the starting quaterback. Sigh...

Then Tampa Bay came into town. I remember I was at the radio station I was working at the time. I would come out between songs and watch Tampa demantle us. Holmgrem realized midway trough the game that Jon Kitna was his quarterback and it took him six years to recover. Plus, Joey Galloway ahd just ended a long holdout where he perfected his flag football skills, and in my opinion, ruined the team chemistry. Luckily, the hex I put on him in retaliation worked up to this year and ruined his career.

I think every year of the Holmgrem era (up to this year) there is that one loss that totally deflates the Seahawks. They never recover. That first year, it was the Tampa game, last year it was the first St Louis game. Ugh.

And now the Seahawks are 13-2. 1984, the year I was born, was the last time the Seahawks won a playoff game. I partially feel my birth may have been the undoing of the Seahawks, and it is that fear that makes me pray even harder that they win this year. In my lifetime, Seattle has a partial college football chamionship, a WNBA title, a few crew titles, and now, a women's volleyball title. But the sports that matter to me are barren.

Seattle Sonics.

63-19, lose to the freakin' Denver Nuggets in the first round. The resulting coma lasts a couple of years, they snap out of it, beat sacremento, sweep Houston, psychologicaly destroy Karl Malone's free throw shooting, and then Shawn Kemp thrashes the entire 72-10 Chicago Bulls in the NBA Finals. Unfortunately, the rest of the team can't figure out how to let go of their ankles and after falling behind 3-0, and they are finished off 4-2. Scottie Pippen gets vengence for the Sonics regarding Olden Polyniece as a better player on draft day. Shawn Kemp is so distraught over the loss, he turns to coke, gains 130 lbs and leaves town.

Sonic Management was so upset they went on a shopping spree of Jim McIlvaines, Calvin Booths, the ghost of Patrick Ewing, Jerome James, etc., etc. to raise their self esteem. Not so sure it was a success.

Seattle Mariners.

116 wins. Our way of saying, hey A-Rod... F@#! YOU!

Still, the great Mariner's teams never could get past the Yankees. Well, except '95. But that was the year Jose Mesa made it his personal mission to blow the seventh game of the World Series. The Mariners could not compete with that and subsequently lost to the Indians in the ALCS. The Mariners did end up signing Jose Mesa. I think that it was so everyday Lou Pinella could say, 'Jose, remember when your Indians beat us in the '95 ALCS? You were awesome that year, how'd things work out againt Florida? Jose...? Jose...? Why are you crying Jose?'

Seattle Seahawks.

13-2.

Will they be the next great Seattle team to squander all of it's potential? I sure hope not. But even if they are, I will remain the faithful fan that I've always been.

Best of luck 'Hawks....

- JK
- Die Hard Seattle Fan

Joe Says:

2005-12-28T02:03:19Z

The producers was one bad ass film. I thought the modernization was flawless, but i am but a humble Airman without the proper credentials for that statement to carry much weight.

Honestly, go and see it if you enjoy musicals or comedy or Nathan Lane.

- JK

Nothing says Happy Holidays like rocking out with Ted Nugent

2005-12-11T19:51:58Z

I won't be going home for christmas again. Ah well, I suppose it's time I started a few traditions of my own anyway. Hopefully I can get home before new years, i'd like to see my brother before he trots off to Ranger School. It's amazing how this year has passed for me. My whole deployment is more of a dream sequence than half of this past year. It's like a big blank in my mind. The sweet power of the mind, being able to just ignore unpleasant memories.

I went and saw Syriana last night. It wasn't my plan, I wanted to see LW&tW but it was sold out. So, late at night I see a horribly unexciting movie. It was good, just oh so tiring. And I wasn't prepared for the torture scene. Anyone going to see it needs to understand that there is one particularly gruesome scene. It did remind me a lot of Kuwait. Not the whole political side, but the landscape, the cars, the signs on the freeways, just little things.

I do live in my new house now (free! courtesy of your tax money, thanks guys). I went and bought a dryer yesterday. Some folks are like, 'oh how exciting to get to go and do grownup things like getting your first dryer.' Listen folks, there's nothing fun about dropping a couple hundred dollars on an appliance. That's what being adult means? I'll pass thanks.

Having a house is a dream come true though. Dictating where you live and how you design your house is a great privilege. I remember when i was going into my sophomore year of High School and my parents decided to go ahead and move over the summer. Fortunately, I make those decisions now (and i do suppose Carly has a say in the matter as well). Yee-freakin'-haw.

I've been reading a book about the 1950s I found when I was moving. I guess I stole it from the school livrary at some point in my life cause it has the stamps and whatnot all over it. I just can't ever remember doing it. I'll be sure to return it next time i am in Bellevue. The book is a good read though. What an interesting time that would have been. It was fascinating to read about how America found itself a world power at the end of WWII and how it asserted itself in world politics. It was neat to read about how the entire political landscape changed in such a short period of time. I think an interesting point to read about was how America went from having two totally seperate political parties, and how the rising prosperitiy in the country sort of forced the parties to become more and more similar. I dunno, neat stuff for a dork like me.

Hope all is well in the worlds of those who read this. Happy Christmas - JK

Just one of those WTF moments

2005-10-29T22:40:36Z

I need to go work on my car, but I have this goofy aversion to doing any sort of maintenance on it. I feel like I should go work on it, it's what all the other guys on base do, but secretly, I'd rather just pay someone to do it. That is, until I found out how much it would cost to have someone else do it. I cannot wait until I get out of the military and start a real career. I'm tired of the low pay, the political bullshit, and all other things evil.

The main thing I am tired of is the fact that I am in the Air Force, and I do absolutely nothing that involves airplanes, jets, helicopter, kites, balloons, etc. What a freaking let down. It's comparable to being in the Navy, and getting stationed in Kansas to paint barns, and every time you get near a water fountain, having someone say, 'Hey, get away from that fountain! Too much water, what the heck do you think you're doing?'. IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!

Actually, I have no idea why I just ranted about that, it's never really bothered me before. I think my car is just stressing me out. My car is like an old friend that you don't really like anymore, but is part of your big circle of friends, so you're always running into it. And then it's awkward and stressful when you do see them. And whenever you want to go hang out, you have to be like, 'I dunno, is my CAR going to be there? Cause that guy bugs me.'

I'm moving out of my apartment next month, so that is exciting. I'm getting a house! For free! Temporarily! Then I have to give it back. But the housing on base isn't bad, so it's not a horrible deal.

I must go pretty myself up so I can pick Carly up from work - JTK

You Know What Really Grinds my Gears?

2005-10-14T02:17:53Z

I've decided it's come to the point in my life when I need to begin speaking like a man.

I have a horrible habit of mumbling. Today, I had to brief some big-wig about job related secrets, and I really feel like my vocal chords let me down. It's a concentration thing, I believe. It's an unconscious nervous habit, along the same lines as biting one's nails. If I think about it, it's not a big deal, I am quite adept at bellowing. But when my brilliant mind begins to wander, the volume slowly gets turned down, and I slur my words like a fifth avenue wino.

My first attempt at brewing the ancient Polish delicacy of pickle soup was a small level success. I feel it really could have turned out better (though, on a positive note, a whole lot worse). I think it is the influence of my foreigner wife. Her cess-pool of degenerative heritage is causing a slight retardation effect upon my superior Polish DNA. Some people just shouldn't mix (that means you, my heterosexual life partner).

Carly has been digging through the dollar movie bin at WALMART. I think she's practicing for the days when her shoe obsession catches up with us, and she'll be digging through the dumpster behind the Olive Garden looking for a few sketchy, half eaten bread-sticks to support our mal-nourished children.

I think I ought to head off to bed. The soothing mumbling escaping from my throat is causing me to grow increasingly drowsy...... - JK

Horrifying Photos From the Front Line

2005-09-28T22:27:52Z

I'll post more whenever I get around to it.

Here's a taste of what I saw (minus the sand)

Word on the street is....

Fighting the war the Air Force way. AIR POWER!!!

Me and the most important person in the militray..... ever.... in the history of man.... until tomorrow.......

My opinion of: the Kuwaiti Food Service Industry

New Kids on the Block: They go where the fight is

A Kuwaiti Fish Tale

My tribute to Die Hard II: Gruesome fight to the death on the wing of a jet

Pop Pop, Fizz Fizz, Oh what a relief it is!

The lack of women begins to take effect...

Now let us never mention the past five months of my life again. -JK

I'm not quite dead yet.

2005-09-28T21:28:29Z

Well, it is my last day of freedom. Tomorrow I return to base, they reinstall the chip in the base of my skull, and the dull, lifeless look will return to my eyes.

I've had an awesome vacation. I'm not sure if this is the most cost effective process by the military (if they care). I worked 6 days a week, 12 hours a day minimum for five months, instilling a very rigorous, thorough work ethic in myself. Then I return to the states and they give me two weeks off making me lazy again.

I finally have a printer/scanner, so hopefully I can force my financier to help me out with getting license plates. I miss driving my poor old Pontiac.

Americans truly are a portly bunch. It took me two, well, one and a half, weeks to gain all of the weight I lost. The Kuwaitis may very well have served me some real crap the whole time I was gone, but damn, it sure did help with the whole weight loss regime. Guess i'll be exercising again.

I'll post some bad ass arabian tales later, just wanted to let everyone know the reintegration has gone well. Didn't get drunk and drive 150 mph on a new motorcycle 'round dead man's curve. - JK

Good to be back

2005-09-16T14:19:28Z

I am back in the United States. My my, it does feel good.

Now let us never mention my Mid-Eastern shenanigans again.

I feel rather un-inspired to write much of anything at the moment. Call it shell shock, call it laziness, i'd rather just loaf around for a few days. I look forward to catching up with everyone, take care - JK

Farewell?

2005-04-28T00:22:40Z

Today I organized a pretty relaxing BBQ for the folks in my work center. It was a real load off, you know. Last couple of days, work has been like the last few days of a school year. You try to hang out with your buddies more, totally shirk all responsibility. I'm going to miss a lot of people around here, but at the same time, I'm getting excited about this opportunity. Because, in reality, when I'm older, who knows if i'll get the opportunity to go these places again. It's a unique chance, and I don't regret it in the least bit.

My small pox shot is still an annoying burden I carry around on my shoulder. An added weight. Packing, saying my goodbyes, out processing have all been thankful distractions. Carly has a job interview on Monday at the local 'Adult Entertainment Store'. Hopefully, this will be something she can look back on with humor years from now.

I have no idea if i'll be able to update this while I'm gone. If not, to those who've read my journal, have a great summer - JK

Ho No!

2005-04-21T00:21:18Z

I got promoted today, go Joe.

My small pox shot is starting to swell and blister. AND ITCH LIKE CRAZY!

I'll post updates as they arise.

- JK

Crazy, Crazy Stuff

2005-04-20T01:42:47Z

Carly sat me down and we watched this spooky French Film, 'He love's me, He love's me not'. It stars French gal Audrey Tautou, in what has to be one of the creepiest stalker film's of all time. Ever. I had new nightmares to go along with the usual one's of getting smallpox in my eyes. Amazing artwork though.

Speaking of smallpox, this 'vaccine' itches soooo bad. And I can't scratch it. It's the most aggravating feeling I've ever experienced. I just want to chop my arm off and beat the med tech who administered the vaccine with it. Then pass out from massive blood loss/shock.

My departure date changed again, but this time, I think it's the real deal. I've just got a feeling. And reserved seats. Oh, and I get promoted tomorrow. So I get to walk around all day while people belt me in the arms in the time honored tradition of tacking on stripes. It beats that whole blood wings thing for pilots and jump school guys.

I must go attend to my woman, later - JK

The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame -- O. Wilde

2005-04-17T01:03:55Z

I have been reading The Stand, by Stephen King, for two weeks, and today, I finally finished. And it wasn't just the Stand, it was the damn uncut ultra long version. And it's over. And now I'm sitting here, scratching my ass, wondering what to write about. I'll tell you one thing though, Stephen King really thought this Doomsday plague thing through. He had all the angles covered, ordinary and religious and magical. Read The Stand and you'll learn that yes, if there is a plague that wipes out the majority of the Human race, some people will be able to fly (well, one person), we will all become slightly telepathic, and if you're real good, there will be a 108 year old black woman who plays guitar waiting for you in Polk County, Nebraska. Not how I would have imagined it at all.

I've been reading a bit about the selection process for the new Pope, and it really is interesting. It'll be disappointing if it all boils down to being an image conscious decision. It would be nice to have a black or latin Pope, but I'd hate to see that be the only reason the new Pope would be selected. I guess it really is a no win situation. One billion catholics spread across the globe, some one is going to be left feeling the short end of the stick.

I'm still feeling the after effects of my latest visit to the Hospital. I've been immunized for Typhoid Fever and Small Pox now. All you have to do for Small Pox is go through a month long ordeal of your arm swelling up, blistering, etc. And don't touch it! It could spread to your eyes, mouth, loved one's, etc. I think Carly is afraid to touch me right now.

For those watching, the Mariner's lost again today. Damnation. - JK

Joe Says:

2005-04-14T16:23:35Z

Just another week or so and I'm off to the AOR. Got my desert uniforms yesterday, which sort of made me realize I'm leaving soon. It's one of those moments, like when you're waiting to walk down the aisle at your wedding, and you're like, Holy Shit!, I'm about to get married. And of course, none of these moments seems to occur at and ideal time either.

I watched the first two Godfather movies this week. I actually had to buy the whole set because no one in Mountain Home has the second movie for rent. I just need to realize that maybe rural Idaho is lacking some things... WALMART, you conglomerate bastards, you've taken my hard earned money again.

Watching the Godfather makes me realize how lazy Polish immigrants were. While Italians were organizing this elaborate crime underground all over America spreading back into Italy, Polish immigrants did what? Got legitimate jobs?

A good friend of mine is leaving for Korea friday, and another the week after. I'll come home to a whole new place. It'll be like those war movies when the protagonist comes back changed and can't relate to the simple small town folk he left behind. In this case though, I won't really have changed.

I guess, if anything, I can take comfort in the fact that I'm gathering credentials to put on a cardboard sign if I ever become jobless. "GWOT veteran. Served hard time in Nowhereville Idaho. Pale skinned family to support..."

Well, the third movie beckons - JK

Pucker Factor: Diamond

2005-03-18T00:55:36Z

After a mysterious two month absence, filled with secret handshakes, sacred tomes, and indian burial grounds, I have returned.

Today I ran around and played soldier. Crawling in the dirt, jumping out of big green trucks (all in the name of St. Patrick's Day), the usual gung-ho, crotch grabbing, back slapping good times we should all strive to enjoy.

I'm going to Mexico soon.

I haven't much else to say except that I wish the UW Huskies well on their voyage through the NCAA Tournament. So Long - JK

Take a Scrumptuous Nibble Out of Crime

2005-01-19T03:58:14Z

Dedicated to my inspiration, Carly Hunt:

So there's this boy, and he's sitting on the sidewalk with tears pouring down his face, sobbing uncontrollably. Then, a beautiful puppy trots by, and sees the emotionally stunted child.

'Why are you crying boy?'

But the boy cannot answer, he can only cry. The puppy decides to cheer the boy up.

'Boy, don't be so sad. Come, play with me! I know we'll become the best of friends.'

And they play, and they do become the best of friends. The boy takes the puppy home, and every day he gives the puppy a big bowl of meat. Neither one is ever really sad again. The puppy wondered what could have made the boy so unhappy that one fateful day. However, he never asks the boy, figuring he would open up when the time was right for him. Yet, the puppy still wondered...

As the boy grew, and the puppy aged gracefully to a dog, the boy and dog saw less of each other. They remained the best of friends though, whatever their separate aims in life may have been. The boy never told the dog why he'd been so sad though. Years later, the boy is preparing to leave for college. The dog is very old now, and knows he'll probably never see his beloved boy again. They go for a walk together, and come to a halt in the exact the spot the dog had found the boy crying all those years ago.

The boy turns to the dog, kneels down, holds his head in his hands and says, 'Dog, you're my best friend in the world, and there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, ever since the day we first met. It's hard for me to say this, but you need to know before you leave me forever.'

The dog notices a tear running down the boys cheek. The dog is very touched, this is what he's been longing to know for all of these years. After they shared this final secret, he could pass on peacefully.

'Dog, all of these years, ever since that first day, I've been feeding you ground dog meat. I'm sorry. Goodbye.' - JK